Crappy Mom List

September 27, 2019  •  14 Comments

As we know, I arguably spend way too much time trying to fine-shine things. But this whole ‘focus on what’s working’ thing, that I posted about in Open, is magnificent. Not only do I get to direct my energy to what’s working in my life, I also get permission to abandon all of those things I give myself a hard time about being crappy at. So, here's a list of some things I no longer need to think about improving... 

Cooking
I know this is a big one, but I don’t care. I have such a difficult time finding joy in preparing food. I view it the same way I view getting gas and showering—necessary evils. And as I see it, why the hell is this assumed to be my responsibility? Everyone knows how to use the microwave and the toaster, think of all the possibilities. Honesty, this one looks more like a New Year’s resolution in our house. I’m good at it for a few weeks at a time and then I avoid it like a new gym membership.

Gift Buying 
There was a time when I was good at this. That was about four kids ago. Few things make me happier than finding the perfect gift for someone, but that rarely lines up with a special day in their life. I totally love the wedding etiquette rule that you have a whole year to execute the present. We need more rules like this.

Academics
I have little to no interest in what my kids do when they’re at school. I love my air conditioner, but I don’t need to know what it does down there all day to give me the results I love. Which is to say, if there’s a problem, I’ll give it attention. But it’s going to need to be a pretty big problem. I have an incredible amount of respect and trust in my children’s fabulously hard-working teachers and with all the other aspects of our lives that I’m managing, I just need to entrust them with the schooling division.

Fashion
While I’d love for TeamDe to be more swank, I think that ship has sailed. I’ve heard you need to get to them in the first five years when it comes to religion, I think that might be true for fashion as well. I’ll give looking chic to the families who have already invested the time. Our thing will be showing up with no shoes on. We seem to have that down pat.

Playing with My Kids
This is something I think I’ll love to do right up until I do it. They’re so much less combative in my play-date daydreams. Legos, Magnatiles...I don’t mind building stuff, but even that’s a struggle when they try to touch what I’m building. I love talking with them—talking’s my thing. If you want to play? Go find Daddy. Better yet, play with one another—that’s why we had so many of you.

Wow, those feel like five pretty big things to take off my list. I’m just going to be made of free time over here. Maybe next I’ll give up folding stuff.


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Comments

Mags
Thanks so much Meghan. I really appreciate the love.

I hear you friend, but "Crappy Mom List" just had a funny ring to it ;-)
The real measure of good mothering for me is love. Those acts I mentioned in the post can be very loving...but I've had to come up with different acts of love for me.

Daniel, thanks for checking in!
Daniel Shay(non-registered)
Ugh... 3 of those things I've never given a second thought to so... CHECK! But I'll have a tough time with the playing and the fashion...
Sarah(non-registered)
Always refreshing to hear your honesty Mags! Its like hearing myself in confession (even though I've never been and you're way funnier)! I'm right there with you on so many of these points and can tell you from working with hundreds of women over the years, we are NOT alone! I also think we need to reframe our thinking: just because we don't like doing some of these things, doesn't mean we are "bad" or "crappy" at them--who decided that they are measurements for being a good mom anyway!?!?!?! Funny what we measure ourselves against...
Meghan(non-registered)
Mags, I absolutely LOVE this...hysterical and right on! I love your honesty and your humor. I'm with ya, sista!! xoxo
Mags
Betsy, I'm so happy we're all taking a stance! Thanks for checking in~

Patti, I think about you all the time now that I'm in the car every day with the kids driving all over CT, Cherished Time.

Courtney, thank you!

Mary, thank you so much for reading my blog, I really appreciate it.
Yeah, I can't do the Powerschool thing—my kids would never be allowed out of the house.
My close friend's Uncle, who is a school psychologist, recommended that parents provide their child with light and a pencil when it comes to their education and to leave the rest up to their child. That was just the permission I needed to not drive myself loco.
Our kids also all know they're not allowed to play sports if their grades aren't to par, so I think that makes for a good motivator...well, sometimes.
Thanks for your comment Mary.

Better feeling better, I love it.

Kelly, thanks for your continued love and support.
I'll have to put some thought into a blog about "what I do well"...
...I am really good at loading the dishwasher....hmmmm, I like where you're going with this.

Peggy, thanks for the love!

Amen, Sister Jill.

Thanks Jane ;-)
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