When one of the rug-rats is having a tantrum I can get triggered. Why? Because deep down inside me, I still sometimes feel responsible for their happiness. Intellectually I know whatever they’re tantruming about has likely nothing to do with me, but internally that ‘yer to blame’ button gets pushed over and over again. That button hurts, man.

It’s been suggested to me to focus less on the upheaval and more on the emotion it’s bringing up for me—actually feel the feeling. I know right? Yelling seems so much more logical. But we have three teenagers and a tween in this house. We experience daily (sometimes hourly) ‘my life is awful’ eruptions around here. If my response to those outbursts is either anger or defensiveness, the energy quickly shifts from their pain to my guilt. 

I don’t want to make other people’s frustration about me. I think my time would be better spent lending compassion in the moment, and connecting to why I still think other people’s happiness is my responsibility later. This should be a synch. 

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Responsibility - Teaching Everyone In My Family How To Be Happy