How much of my love is conditional? How do I respond to my family when I don’t feel like they’re contributing or behaving in a manner that I deem acceptable? And, when my love is conditional for them, does that mean it’s also conditional for me?

This often boils down to having completely unrealistic expectations for myself. And, those expectations lead me to have completely unrealistic expectations for others. And who really gets hurt? Me. No really, me. I’m not entirely sure why I thought I could snap a Nerf gun over my thigh, but in one of my conditional love tirades, I was convinced that it would make a super strong statement. It was a super strong statement, alright: Nerf guns are startlingly well crafted. 

When I settle down, and limp a step back for a moment, I can see that this isn’t about a woman who needs to break something to make a point. This is about a woman who needs a break. And maybe if she can get a break, she can give the people she loves most a friggin’ break too. 

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