The Voice of Self is Kind? Are You Sure about That?

July 10, 2020  •  5 Comments

This summer I’ve been working on a huge Confessions migration project. I’m moving the entire 165 posts (and counting) to a new site. The enormity of the task is causing me to feel frequently ramped-up. Why though? I don’t have a due date. No boss over my shoulder.
This is why—because of the message I’m sending myself:

Hurry up and finish that thing that’s keeping you from serving everyone else’s needs.

Really? This crap again?
I began noticing how, from the moment I wake up in the morning, this is what my self-talk sounds like: 

You woke up too late, now you don’t have time to walk.
Why are you taking time to do this when you should be doing that?
If you did this last night, you’d have more time this morning.

And on, and on, and on.
Maybe this is another job for my Magic Closet…?
My walk-in closet is long and narrow and runs under the stairway to the second floor. In June I cleared out the back so I could meditate in there, and this is the summer mantra I came up with:

The voice of self is kind.

So now, when I hear the bad-girl talk I think, No ma’am. The voice of self is kind. 
I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve sat in that closet talking to myself. And I’m not in there long people—it’s 5-10 minutes tops, but I can already feel a difference. The shift in my thinking reminds me just how powerful those messages are that I fill my head with every day. And, now I’m considering other mantras that I might want to try…

The house will stay clean all day.
The kids will be in school five days a week in the fall.
It’s all going to be ok.


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Comments

Mags
Matt, thanks so much for sharing your peace practices.
This letting go stuff isn't easy, but can provide a ton of relief.
I appreciate you check in!

Bill—I love it!
If you see me over there mumbling to myself, you'll know what I'm saying ;-)

Kate, so you're saying I'm not alone?! Yahoooo! It's annoying, right?
I love the reminder that getting back in the present moment can also quiet the chatter.
Thanks so much for commenting Kate, I really appreciate it.

Chris, yes gremlins—perfect visual...and great reminder not to get my thoughts wet or feed them after midnight!
Chris W.(non-registered)
I can relate. I am always redirecting gremlin voices in my brain when I wake up. It gets a little easier with time.
Kate G Mc(non-registered)
I literally just finished journaling. I’ve been working on being in the moment. (Took a fab class with one of my fav spiritual teachers on the Tao the Ching, and getting in the moment is your opp to be in union with God at every moment, etc.) so, ok, great. Well, if I haven’t been beating myself up all day every day when I find myself out of the moment. It’s a practice, like anything, but I seem to think “I’m bad at it”, lazy, not doing enough to get there. I mean, I know all the practices - Whats My Problem?!?!?! I’ve realized the crux of it ALL is self acceptance, self love. Right now. As I am. Only from there can I celebrate Life, right here and now. Me as I am, Life as it is. Right now.
And then I read this post.
I will metaphorically sit under my stairs and say my similar mantra. Tnx for the encouragement and further clearing the Path.
Tnx for this today!!!
Bill Weidmann(non-registered)
Morning Mags. The outline of the church labyrinth is between the Memorial Garden and Spencer House. You can easily walk to it and it’s a great place to meditate. It’s also roomier than your closet.
Matt(non-registered)
I’m starting my day sitting in the yard with my dog, overlooking my tomato plants. Its similar to your morning walk. The morning clock starts when I stand up from this and the dog in my lap has to jump down. The dog likes to go for rides. When its just the dog and me off to retrieve some curbside takeout, that’s the happy alone time. I have that overly large, self-made project of setting up online photo galleries of the last two years of Fair photos. (My present to friends who have a cancelled Fair season this year.) I’m wary of telling myself that things I feel I can’t control will work out. I don’t want to crash into reality. But it does push away anxiety, if I believe for awhile that it’s all going to be okay.
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