For the Love of Honor

January 17, 2020 • 5 Comments

One thing G-Man and I can’t seem to see eye to eye on is laundry. Actually, to be more specific, it’s really only my laundry that we don’t see eye to eye on. Because I have a certain way I like to fold, hang and sort my belongings, my Micromanaging Recovery Plan has taught me that this is a task I should do myself (instead of expecting someone else to do it my way). This makes absolutely no sense to my husband. So, even after decades of appeals, he still occasionally "helps out" by popping my dirty clothes in with his and I'm left bewildered.

The other day he finally said to me, “It’s just never going to make sense to me that you wouldn’t want someone to do your laundry for you.” And there it was, right before my eyes—the crux of the issue. As we all know, it’s never about the laundry, or the dishwasher, or the garbage. What was waiting for us underneath this wash-bin was, honor.

The thing is, my need doesn’t have to make sense to G. I don’t have to make sense. If my request affects someone else, I completely support taking time to further clarify. But if what I believe, or how I like something done has little to no impact on someone else, they don’t have to understand me to honor me.

I actually have gratitude for this marital squabble because I needed to be on the frustrating side of this exchange. It's only taken a few shrunken sweaters and some wrinkled threads to connect to this critical aspect of honor that was missing in my relationships. This taught me that, while it may be incredibly challenging at times, the most meaningful time to honor is not when I agree with and understand someone, but when I don’t.

Thanks for another life lesson G-Man. Mission accomplished. Now you can really stop doing my laundry...

Awe-jeeze....please read the follow-up comment below...

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Comments

Mags

Thanks for your kind observation Kelly~

kelly(non-registered)

yikes.

Gulp.

What I love about you too is, your doing yours, and theirs, but not expecting them to do it your way. This is different.

Mags

YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT ON THE FRIDAY THAT THIS BLOG POST WAS WRITTEN, G-MAN DID MY LAUNDRY after READING THE POST.
It's like I always say, You can lead a horse to a blog post, but you can't make him stop doing your laundry.
Laundry casualty this time? My favorite cardigan is now permanently stained with tomato sauce because my plan was to soak it before washing it and I never got the chance. Awesome.

Christine—funny how it's hard to forget theses things. We don't all do our own laundry here, I just don't want anyone doing mine. I'll do mine and his and everyone else's, no problem. Thanks for checking in.

Kel Kel, if G Man wants to pitch in he can do HIS laundry or the children's laundry, not mine. I'm lovingly trying to tell him that that is NOT at all helpful to me. Stop encouraging him sister.

MJ, this comment made me laugh out loud. SO FUNNY!!!

MJ(non-registered)

I do my own laundry separately too - it started with finding worms in the dryer. There is no place for segregation - except the laundry room, and there - the more the better.

kelly kell kell(non-registered)

I am the messy laundress. That has washed the teams clothes for 25 years, but it was never up to snuff. You've "mags-ni=-fied"(see what I did there?!?) it and I get it. Its better to do it your self rather than expect someone to do it your way and fuss up when its not. Thats what we are doing, everyone does their own laundry here.

Although,I do think Gman gets some points for trying to pitch in,
just saying.

xo

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