Self-Compassion?

January 04, 2019  •  4 Comments

Those kids got back to the safety of school just in time. Mama was starting to struggle with kindness during those last 48 hours. Which provided, yet another, opportunity for a little self-compassion like we brought up in last week’s post, The Magic Ingredient.

I actually remember the first time someone introduced me to this incomprehensible idea. I swear on my children’s freckles, I didn’t have the slightest clue what she was talking about. She said, “Mags, be gentle to yourself.” What? What does that even mean? So, I figured I would share three ways I was taught to take care of myself in case anyone else is also dumbfounded by the concept.

  1. Do less. One of the nicest things I can do for myself is to simply take things and expectations off of my list entirely. I am only one pie and the more I try to squeeze into the dish, the more all the other pieces shrink. This can be tough for me because so much of my identity is wrapped up in feeling like the more I do, the better I am. Almost daily, I find myself chanting, “Let go and let God, let go and let God....”

  2. Do it less perfectly. It used to send my knickers into a pinch when G-Man wouldn’t complete tasks. But, like most things with him I figured, If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And, as usual, he was really on to something. Doing things half-ass (no offense honey), can really take the pressure off. The mantra I was taught here? “Is there anything I can do less perfectly today?” Why, yes—yes there is.

  3. Do things for me. I try to rest when I’m tired. I stop and breathe when I’m overwhelmed. I forced myself to tend to my self-care needs before tending to everyone else’s needs: meditation, exercise, nutrition, etc. I strive to set healthy boundaries with time. I strive to set healthy boundaries with people. I try to set realistic expectations for myself (while I’m still learning what ‘realistic’ is). And, most importantly, I surround myself with people who know more than I do about how to live a peaceful and meaningful life.

The best side effect of these three things is that, by learning to give me a break, it has become so much easier to give others a break. Rather than continuing to judge them for their choices, it's worked out better for me to watch and learn.

Do you have someone in your life that models healthy self-compassion? I’d love to hear your thoughts on 'being gentle to yourself' in the comment section below (and don’t forget to check back for my reply). And if you enjoy reading this blog, please share it with your friends and encourage them to subscribe. 

Take Care of Yourself
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Comments

Mags
Thanks for checking in Synne, great reminder.

"Do less but better." That sounds ideal Richard.

Way to jump right into it Mr. Shay—I LOVE your enthusiasm.
So happy you found this helpful. Keep up the great work~
Daniel Shay
Wow! Perfectly said Mags. If I can apply one of these three things to my life it will make a world of difference. I'm going to start right now by not checking this reply post for spelling accuracy! Thank you.
Richard(non-registered)
It's the platter to plate. Do less but better.
Synne(non-registered)
I am big on picking your battles on what you can “half a$$”. There is a great quote I heard. “The perfect is the enemy of the good”. As always, a great way to start my Friday!
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