There used to be nothing that drove me crazier than waiting for my husband. He used to run late constantly and I was left staring at the clock almost every time we made plans. But there was one specific event that ended up being a turning point with how I perceived this pattern in our relationship.

We were two kids into our growing family and had made plans to meet at the St. George’s carnival at 6pm. When I got there (on time, with kids in tow) I discovered that the carnival didn’t open till 6:30pm. 6:05, 6:15, 6:25...no G-Man. For those of you who don’t have children, this is not an ideal time of day to be on the side of the road with two toddlers waiting for another adult to show up. He finally arrived after 6:30pm. Not surprisingly, it proved to be a tense carnival night for TeamDe.

While frustrated, I couldn’t blame being late for something. In this case, I was forced to look at the bigger picture. My husband runs late, but he’s also the person who will sit with me (while missing his train to work) if I’m sad or upset. He’s the one who stays and listens. I’m the one who says, “Hold that thought, I’ll call you from the train.” Neither is right, neither is wrong. But looking at it from another angle shifts our relationship. Now I try my best to spend much less time focussed on what’s faulty in someone’s behavior and much more time recognizing and acknowledging the equal and opposite good that part of their personality brings to the table.

Is there something that drives you crazy that, if you take a step back, you can see as something positive? In yourself or in someone else. Please consider sharing it in the comment section below.

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