The fall schedule is in full swing. All of my jobs are demanding a piece of my attention. As my attention gets divided, my tank gets closer and closer to empty. When my tank gets close to empty, I get resentful and pissy. And the children call out in delight, “YAY! Mom’s resentful and pissy—Christmas must be coming!”

I was thinking how great it would be to have a dashboard for my mental stability. Instead of indicating low tire pressure or overheating, it would light up: Hormone levels high! Patience deactivated! Self-control low! Schedule friend maintenance! Rage-day warning! But, I realized, I DO have those lights. They come in the form of that sharp tone in my voice with my family, that crazy victim thinking that enters my mind, or how overwhelmed I can get when one more email comes in asking me to do one more thing. These are all clearly lit emotional control panel lights for me to take note of.

I love to blame. Blaming is awesome. It totally makes me feel better to convince myself that everyone else drained my gas tank. But, I’m a big girl now and it’s up to me to take care of my own car. My challenge is acknowledging the warning signs and scheduling time for mental maintenance. All I have to do is look out my driver’s side window to be reminded that, the objects of my desires are closer than they appear.

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