One thing that used to start my blood boiling was when our children would be crying hysterically or fighting right in front of my husband, and he would continue doing what he was doing. “How can you just sit there while this is going on?!” It took me so many years to even entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, the man was on to something.

I was sent from the factory with a very sensitive reaction meter. Because I don’t make the best decisions when I have to make them quickly, I have spent years trying to reprogram myself to respond to life rather than react to it. This quote really helped me on my journey, “Urgent things are rarely important and important things are rarely urgent.” This gave me permission to look at how often my reactions were completely disconnected from my overall personal goals. If I want to live a peaceful life, I can’t jump out of my seat every time someone yells, “MOM!” If I want to make mindful choices, I can’t always reply to others with the first response that pops into my head.

It started with not reacting to the kids crying, complaining and beating on one another. Because that felt so good, I began utilizing it in all areas of my life. I can use the same restraint when a snarky email crosses my desk; someone makes a hurtful comment; or we get an invitation to do something when we really need down time. Now I’m able to reply with phrases like, “Can I get right back to you?” or “I don’t feel like I can respond to this in the healthiest manner right now, let’s revisit this when I’ve had time to give it some thought.” I’ve also noticed more often than not that, a response is not needed at all.

As with many things that drove me realmente loco with G Man Master De in the first years of our marriage, it has served me very well to join his thought process rather than resist it. Yes, it can be unsettling for guests to see our indolence when they hear what sounds like a small child being maimed in the distance. But, unless the child comes to me directly or I see blood, I’m going to keep washing the dishes peeps. For me, putting space between the action and my response to it gives me another opportunity to become more of the person I want to be.

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